Dear Diary,

I know it's been a while (well at least online) and since I feel way more overwhelmed than ever, I felt the need to write some words in here. I have time now, a month, maybe two at home, time to kill and re-explore myself :).

I've been in a rush, huge marathon since I came back to Strasbourg mid-August and I had only a couple days to sleep well, couple days of vacation. Now and then, I come home to eat, sleep and shower. Not that I complain, I love being hyper-present in every aspect of life, social and personal... but I miss my cozy/chill me-times, you know watching a real movie (and not 10 mins videos or 20 mins sitcoms) or singing and dancing. A little loneliness, may never do much harm. Now we're again confined so, I'm back as you see.

Though it made me more and more tired every little day, before even the beginning of the next scholar year, I didn't think I could do less than what I do now. What do/did I do you might ask…A weekly rush as it starts and a whole lotta new challenge comes for the following week in the middle of the actual week.

From cozy home nights to the the small circle to parties.

From lessons to social commitments (associations)

From friends to dates

From internship research to not sending mails; yeah I still kinda procrastinating on that.

What is more interesting is, when a rush begins, I forget why do I start doing all this stuff because there’s simply no time to interrupt and question everything. The logic is, once you finish your work you should stop and evaluate yourself, see if you’re satisfied enough to move to the next one. But when you do 253968327409 stuff all at once, you get lost, the best part is once you get used to being lost in between deadlines and no-deadlined works you NEVER wanna quit. I tried, but it’s like you quit yourself. It's like Wile E. Coyote (from Road Runner), he walks, he walks off a cliff on the air and he only falls once he looks down.

Not that I say what makes you-- you is what you do. When I have the opportunity to experience the most of me, my qualities and my limits, I take it. But between different poles of life, in struggle, I think we realize more what we like and what we don’t, to whom do we feel closer, where we act like ourself and where we learn to be more mature. So I see life as : Openness to Experience --> More Discovery (+/-) --> Better Understanding of You

But you know what, I admit, at the same time I'm (and I have always been) a huge procrastinator. I love organizing my works by priority, subtle part is that NOTHING (!) is more prior than my feelings. Oh yeah, whatever is important at the time, if I don't feel like doing it I do it later. I'm fascinated by the work I make sometimes, and some people to, but still I'm never satisfied enough... That a story for another " Dear Diary"...

Hasta luego!

Besos - Eduş.